Sunday, April 17, 2011

Of Smelting

This is my first official blog.  I expect it to ripple across the internet the way the movie "The Extra Man" did (unfamiliar with the movie?  You should see it.  Kevin Klein delivers a sensational performance.  A lot of whimsy involved.  High on the whimsy.

The topic this evening:  Smelting.

I can't think of a reason why I don't approve of smelting, except for the fact that it probably contributes to the destruction of the earth.

I'm fairly certain they were doing a lot of smelting in the movie "Princess Mononoke," and it was said smelting that infuriated the forest Gods.  But on the upside, think of all the metal ash trays that have resulted from our pioneer smelters.  Oh, and important machine parts for important machine things.

I don't think all of my blogs are going to be this thick on whimsy.  I should probably take a moment to drop the mask and reveal something about myself.

Shit.  I just realized that I did not put the end parenthesis after the bit where I'm describing The Extra Man.  Should I go back and correct myself?  Possibly.  But that would involve going back and correcting myself. I'll just put the parenthetical here, but be it known that it is meant to go up after the word "Whimsy.").

There.  Now, a serious note.  Hm.  There's more to me than the fact that I am a 29-year-old virgin.  I walked past a wall with vines. The wall itself had recently been painted white.  Clearly, the painters did not remove the vines when they painted, because low and behold, here and there amongst the white wall were outlines of the leaves.  There was something poetic about the laziness of it.  Now if I were getting laid, would I have had the time and desperation to make this observation?  Probably.  I have lost my own argument.

But back to the point of smelting.  Can one smelt a smelt?  (Smelt is a fish, isn't it?)

I'm concerned that this stream of consciousness thinking sounds a bit too familiar to the stream of consciousness blogging that Jason Rue was doing a few years ago.   He has now moved onto cubist blogging, but still, I hate to be accused of ripping somebody off.  I get no respect.  That was a cheap joke.  I'm sorry to the spirit of Rodney Dangerfield, and for good measure, the spirit of President Taft.  You can never be too careful when appeasing the spirits of these dead presidents.  That was a movie, wasn't it?  Dead Presidents.  I should probably see that movie.

Conclusion:  smelting does a lot for us, but what have we done for smelting?  Precious little.


  1. Smelting should only be done by trained professionals. Home smelting is a dangerous practice, and has claimed the lives of at least thirty-something housewives and a few Yorkshire terriers.

  2. I am sure I am not the only one intrigued by your Virginia roots. Huzzah!

  3. The way this was going, I half-expected an "I'm an excellent driver" and/or a "Remember Sammy Jenkis."