Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Frack Me

I was reading about hydro fracking.  first of all, the word "fracking."  perfect word to describe a process that fracks the earth.  There should be no confusion to ANYBODY about how shitty this is to the planet.  Hence the EPA giving the thumbs up.  

They stick a tube down into the earth and pump fluid down there, causing pressure to release oil.  Raping the land quite literally.  I don't know the exact science, but I guess, nine months later, an oil baby is born.

Couldn't the scientist who came up with this have said,
   -"you know what--I'll keep this one to myself."  

instead he said:
   -"Do you know where can I cash this?  Does the bank on this check have a local branch?"

the EPA says there's no definitive proof that this is going to cause serious problems.  Already water supplies have been contaminated, and somebody's well blew up.  jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water, and Jack and Jill were vaporized.  There was nothing left--not even a crown.   

The EPA says there's no definitive proof that this is going to cause serious problems.  

-You could describe this process to a three year old with hearing problems and said three year old would say "that doesn't sound right.  I may have literally been born yesterday, but that sounds awful."     

Sunday, December 4, 2011



The following is a list of possible upcoming Disney movie musicals, written specifically for children.

SCHINDLER'S LIST-- Oscar Schindler (voiced by Michael J. Fox) is a lovable owner of a slinky factory in Germany. When the evil Nazi Commander (Alan Rickman) threatens to take all of Schindler's Jews to the Concentration Camps, it's up to Schindler and his sidekick, Latkah Goldstein the talking potato pancake (voiced by David Cross), to save the day. Memorable scene: Schindler jumping over the Auschwitz walls using specialized Slinky boots.

2001: A Space Odyssey
PART 1: Join the madcap adventures of the lovable Caveman Moog (Kevin James) as he struggles to survive in the era of primitive man. One day, he happens upon the mysterious Monolith, who turns out to be a wacky sidekick voiced by Chelsea Handler. The Monolith teaches Moog how to kill to survive, and Moog teaches the Monolith about friendship.

PART II-Astronaut Dave Bowman (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) struggles to tame his mad cap computer, HAL 9000 (Robin Williams). With the help of Frank Pool, an astronaut Mouse (Julia Roberts), Bowman has to foil HAL's plan to destroy the Monolith.

Tangled: The story of the Marquis De Sade - The Marquis De Sade (Danny DeVito) falls in love with the beautiful Maid, Elizabeth (Kiera Knightly). He captures Elizabeth and puts her in his magical torture chamber filled with a myriad of sidekicks, including a talking whip named Whippersnapper (Dennis Miller), a torture rack named Racky (Jeffery Tambour) and a hot poker named Pokie (Nathan Lane).

The Human Centipede: Three adventurous brothers (voiced by the Jonas Brothers) go on a journey to find fortune. When they happen across a mad scientist (Christopher Lloyd) who promises to make them rich, they proceed, having no idea what's in store for them.

Notable songs: "One Man's Trash is Another Man's Dinner," "A Hole New World," and "Please Kill Me."

Caligula: A shot-for-shot remake of the 1970's film.