"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it"
Translation: I'll throw you off that bridge when we come to it.
"How did he/she die?"
Translation: "How can I avoid this person's fate?"
"These things happen."
Translation: God loves me more than you, right?
"Stranger things have happened."
Translation: Whatever you're going to do is probably going to fail, and I'm too nice to be honest about it.
"If there's anything I can do, let me know."
Translation: Please God, let there not be anything I can do.
"She's cute/nice/sweet/a good person"
Translation: She's not the supermodel you're hoping for, and frankly, you deserve far worse.
"Don't worry, I'm sure things will work out for you."
Translation: I'm tired of interacting with you, so I'll pretend to be God to get you to shut up.