"Love evoL."
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Hans opened the door to his estate and immediately ran downstairs into the attic. Lucile, unable to contain her own throbbing passions, was waiting for him there, naked, and also without clothes. He trained his eye on her beautiful red hair, tracing their wavy lines down past the fullness of her bosom, down further to her belly button, then to her glowing woman parts, and below that... to an inverse belly button, inverse bosom, and an inverse head that stood on the floor.
"I cannot resist you," he said. He began ripping the clothes from his body, only to find himself even more fully clothed.
"Allow me," she said, hopping over to him.
She sensually buttoned up his shirt, and then, purring like a kitten, she buckled his belt and zipped up his fly. There he was, now fully naked.
His animal instincts took over. He threw her onto the bed, and climbed on top of her, kissing her passionately. His tongue pierced the rouge battlements of her lips, and he tasted not joy, not rapture, but linoleum. Realizing that he was kissing the foot head, he quickly spun her around and began sucking the love essence from the lips of his prisoner, who was at once his captor, as his hands clasped her breasts with the urgency of a panicked assistant manager.
At once, he entered her, his throbbing penis traveling like the fist of a raging alcoholic ultimate fighter through a wall.
And as he gave a mighty thrust, he was at once perplexed, for he felt, from the opposite side of the room, someone suddenly thrusting into him.
You are so fucking brilliant it hurts. It HURTS. You are David Sedaris with a Jew 'fro. and probably not at all nearly as gay. You seriously need to write a book. And it needs to be published. And you need to write more books. You are brilliant.
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