Sunday, January 22, 2012

Lesser Known Super Heroes

Jewish Mother

Origin:  Estelle Greenblat, Brooklyn housewife and mother of two, cleans her house to the point where there is literally no dust anywhere to be found.  As a result, aliens on the far side of the galaxy mistake her living room for an air tight transporter chamber and inadvertently beam in a collection of alpha crystals, which immediately irradiate Estelle and tarnish the leather couch.

Powers:  Estelle discovers that she has the ability to cause guilt in others without even opening her mouth, sense telepathically where the cleanest bathrooms are, and  fly, but only in first class.


Origin:  Around puberty, Rick Richards develops a rare genetic mutation in human evolution that gives him the ability to shoot lasers through is nostrils.  His power can only be controlled by the onset of allergies; as a result, Rick must walk around with a cat strapped to his face.

Retcon:  In the early 1970's, the character of Rick Richards was killed off during "The Crisis of Infinite Macaroni Grills" when he used all of his nasal energy to stop an astroid from crashing into the earth.  Frank Miller re-booted the character as a post-apocalyptic Nazi who shoots swastikas out of his nose and who wears a trademark shirt that says "I am with myself."

Alan Alda Man

Origin:  After experiencing a massive dose of gamma radiation, scientist John Jacobs discovers that when he gets really angry, he turns into noted character Alan Alda.  Forced to flee from the military, who wants to learn Jacobs' secret in order to create a race of super character actors, John travels the country, helping theatre troupes who are in need of a male character/lead with excellent comic timing.

Down Escalator Man

Origin:  As a boy, Daniel Devons discovers that he is afraid of going down an escalator.  After his parents are brutally murdered in front of his eyes, he decides to dawn the visage of an escalator in order to strike fear into the hearts of criminals.

Later in the series, Escalator Man is joined by a teenaged sidekick named Elevator Boy.  After several years of working side by side with Escalator Man, Elevator Boy moves to a new city to establish himself as a grown-up superhero named "Airport Walkway."

Rogues Gallery:  The Pedometer, The Gentleman Spiral Staircase, and (Escalator Man's Arch nemesis) The Laughing Regular Stair Case Guy.

Weather Girl

Los Angeles female Weather Girl Maxine Titsburg  inadvertently drives through radioactive Santa Monica fog, giving her the ability manipulate only those kinds of weather found in California (sun shine, light fog, occasional rain).  A vital part of the team of mutants known as "The Team of Mutants," Weather Girl is most often used when both sides of the mutant war decide that it is too cold to battle outdoors.

The Phoenix Saga:  After marrying Pelican Brief Man (who has the ability to force people to watch the Pelican Brief in their minds over and over again), Weather Girl is inhabited by an extra-terrestrial super being who endows her with the power to destroy all of creation with a single thought.  Specifically the thought "where did I put my keys?"  The other members of the Team of Mutants are forced to destroy Weather Girl in order to save the universe.   She does come back to life, but in the form of a marmot.

Frank Miller rebooted the character as a Nazi Weather Forecaster who has the power to make clouds look like Swastikas.    

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